Chapter Fourteen: The Invasion of Dunwyn Castle

 

            “I knew I should’ve brought my sword,” Alice Green grumbled. “We’re about to go into battle and none of these swords just ain’t doin’ it for me.” She tossed away a plethora of swords in Dunwyn Castle’s armory, dissatisfied with the different hefts and craftsmanship of each one.

            Bill had to dodge a few that lodged into the nearest wall. “Ma! Take it easy!”

            “Your grandma owns a sword?!” a fascinated Sprig addressed Cricket.

            “Oh, yeah,” Cricket nonchalantly confirmed. “She uses it to peel potatoes and scratch her back.”

            Anne’s eyes twinkled as she looked on Alice. “I wish she was my grandma!”

            While the Plantars and the Greens prepped for battle with Sir Tuxford and Dunwyn’s finest knights in the armory, King Gregor sat in his throne room with his daughter (Princess Calla), both of them taken aback not only by the existence of Gummis but also from the presence of the chainsaw-welding Ash (who they also heard legends of) and the Ghostbusters. The Plantars, who they met earlier, were also a bewildering sight on their senses – way more so than the Gummis.

            “I simply cannot believe all of this!” Gregor exclaimed. “The world beyond these castle walls is much bigger than we’ve ever imagined!”

            “You’ll have to get over all of it quick, Your Majesty,” Ash insisted. “Igthorn and his army are gonna be here any second.”

            “Yes, you’ve mentioned that,” Gregor said. “If it’s as great as you claim, we are going to need more men.”

            “And women,” Mal added.

            “Don’t start,” Venkman told her. “J.G. and Sean are bringing more reinforcements here. That’ll give us the home court advantage.”

            Calla frowned at her diction. “Home court advantage?”

            “She means the odds of us winning are good,” Jacqueline clarified.

            “Splendid,” Gregor approved. “Cavin, as squire, I am tasking you with protecting Calla during this impending invasion.”

            “I’ll follow my duty with the utmost guile, Your Majesty,” Cavin acknowledged.

            “Which way is the kitchen?” Grammi asked. “I’ll need to whip up endless supplies of Gummiberry Juice for the humans. They’re going to need the strength.”

            “I think I saw it on the way in,” Evie said.

            “Good,” Grammi remarked. “You’re coming with me then.”

            A moment later, the reinforcements arrived through the castle gates. Stantz, Spengler, Binx, Clary, and the Simpsons accompanied King Arthur, Merlin, and their forces from Arthur’s kingdom. Natalie and Jacqueline were surprised to see the familiar faces with them.

            “Leidy?!” Jacqueline exclaimed.

            “Lisa?!” Natalie followed.

            “Never mind them!” Scrooge berated, centering squarely on Venkman. “Why cannae you answer your phone like a responsible adult?!”

            “In case you haven’t realized, we get bad cell service in the Middle Ages!” Natalie retorted. “But never mind that. Who’s the leader of the Gap Band over there?” She gestured specifically towards Jace.

            “Don’t even start with me, mundane,” Jace warned her.

            “Mundane?!” Natalie echoed the term with vitro. “Who do you think—?”

            “Enough!” McDuck bellowed, ending the bickering before it even started. “The battle’s not with each other! It’s with—”

            “ENEMY FORCES ON THE HORIZON!!!”

            The watchman’s alert drew everyone to the perch. From there, they witnessed the arrival of Igthorn and his unbelievable army of ogres and the Cauldron-born. Through a pair of binoculars loaned by Leidy, Ash did not see any sign of the Sanderson sisters among the army. “Where are those witches?” she muttered in aggravation.

            “Forget the Sandersons,” Binx told her. “What can you see?”

            “Just a group of ogres lining up stone gargoyle statues in front of them,” Ash depicted.

            Stantz reacted in shock to her depiction. “Ash, let me see those binoculars.” Once she handed them over, J.G. got a good look at the gargoyle statues, verifying exactly what he was thinking. “I knew it! It’s Goliath and his clan!”

            “From our fight with Chernabog, a few years back?” Jacqueline inquired.

            “Only for them, it’s centuries ahead of here and now,” J.G. contradicted, just as he noticed the sun setting fast.

            The deadly card Igthorn was playing became apparent when, right upon nightfall, Goliath and his clan broke out of their stone shells and took flight towards Dunwyn castle. “Oh, crap!” Ash cried from the attacking winged creatures of the night.

            The war ignited once the gargoyles attacked.

            “We can’t kill them, can we?” Jacqueline queried.

            “If they can bleed, we can kill them,” Jace stated.

            “That’s not what she meant, Schwarzenegger!” Natalie barked at him. “These guys helped save our butts in another war that hasn’t happened yet. If we kill them here, then they won’t be around to help us in the future!”

            “Then what do we do?” Clary asked.

            Up close, J.G. saw that the gargoyles’ eyes were glowing green instead of white. “They’re under some sort of spell,” he notified the others.

            This major detail was right up Merlin and Zummi’s alley.

            With the endless supplies of Gummiberry Juice that Grammi and Evie whipped up, the humans were able to hold against the gargoyles long enough for the wizards to work together in conjuring a counter spell that freed the gargoyles’ minds, one by one. Some of the gargoyles went limp in midair, losing consciousness and crashing into random structures throughout Dunwyn castle – thankfully, they sustained minor injuries.

            From across the battlefield, Igthorn saw how the gargoyles – a decisive factor in the previous invasions he orchestrated – had fallen. “No! Those monsters were my one instrument in winning this battle!”

            “Do not be discouraged, Your Dukeyness,” said Toadwart, the smallest of the ogres and Igthorn’s second-in-command. “You still have the big ogres and the Cauldron-born!”

            And, just like that, Igthorn’s hopes were lifted. “Thanks for the reminder, Toadwart!” He sent the ogres and the Cauldron-born towards the castle.

            The ogres attempted to use a battering ram to get through the front gate.

            Anticipating this, Spengler used a bit of 21st century science on them by channeling the energy from a proton pack to the gate via a wiring system along its framework. When the ogres rammed again, a powerful static discharge bounced them back and eviscerated the battering ram, as well as more than a few dozen Cauldron-born. This maneuver impressed Venkman, who complimented Spengler, “That was some sick MacGyver stuff, dude!”

            “Oh, please,” Spengler smugly remarked. “MacGyver wishes he was that good.”

            Noting how the opposing forces dwindled, Clary joyously reflected, “We may actually win this thing!”

            “It’s not over yet!” Jace told her. “Don’t let your guard down even for a second!”

            “Has anyone seen Ash?” Binx asked.

            Through all the excitement, the Chainsaw Warrior herself appeared to have disappeared.

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            Igthorn’s heart pounded through his chest – an onset of the fear of defeat. His forces were collapsing before his very eyes and not even Toadwart’s rambling reassurance could quell his anxiety. He was on the verge of silencing the small ogre until someone charged in and punted Toadwart like a football, sending him flying miles and miles across the air and into one of the tallest trees a distance away.

            Igthorn spun around and saw the punter to be Ash.

            That fear he felt a short while ago dissipated into self-assurance. “Ah, if it isn’t the wench with the strange weapon for a hand that I’ve heard so much about,” he gloated. “I was beginning to think you were a myth, milady.”

            “Oh, yeah? Well, this ‘myth’ is about to kick your butt!” Ash challenged. “But, first, I wanna know where the Sandersons are!”

            “Those accursed witches?” Igthorn balked. “You won’t be alive long enough to find out!” On this, he reached into a knapsack that he had been carrying on him and retrieved a stolen bottle of Gummiberry Juice stashed inside. He drank up and engaged in physical combat with Ash, using his enhanced strength to shatter the blade of her chainsaw and bend her sawed-up shotgun, leaving her utterly defenseless.

            “Oh, forget this!” she yelped, having no other choice but to flee into the woods.

            “Get back here, you coward!” Igthorn demanded, giving chase.

            His pursuit lasted until he found himself wandering in the dark, unable to see exactly where Ash was hiding. That’s when he was blinded by a set of lights that sparked within the darkness and deafened by a loud mechanical roar. Before the duke knew it, his body was struck by some type of chariot or demon.

            Little did his primitive mind realize, he was the victim of Ash’s Oldsmobile Delta 88. She had kept it parked between the land of Dunwyn and Gummi Glen, secluded in the bushes where no one but her would find it.

            That was the upper hand she had over Igthorn, who was knocked out cold from the sudden hit-and-run.

            Although this crippling defeat should have ended the battle there and then, it continued to wage over Dunwyn. First off, the endless source of Gummiberry Juice ran dry. “We made endless supplies of them,” Evie indicated. “How did we run out of them so fast?!”

            “Tummi!” Grammi bellowed. “Did you drink all the juice?!”

            “I didn’t,” Tummi spoke in defense. “Honest.”

            “I’m afraid Cricket is the culprit,” Tilly said, helping her sickened, bloated brother stand upright. “He drank a whole barrelful of it.”

            “Ugh, it was so tasty…and it made me so strong ‘til it didn’t,” Cricket moaned.

            Without Gummiberry Juice and very many other resources, all hope seemed lost.

            And then, in the skies above Dunwyn, there emerged a massive spacecraft. It mortified both opposing forces – mainly those native to the current period – except for T’Eve, Star, and Marco. The sight of it overjoyed Star and Marco, whereas T’Eve expressed herself with the casual raise of an eyebrow.

            “It’s the Enterprise!” Star identified the craft.

            “They’ve found us!” Marco cheered.

            “It would appear they have,” T’Eve observed.

            The ogres of Igthorn’s army retreated in fear, while the remaining Cauldron-born was obliterated by a barrage of laser fire from the Enterprise. Following this attack, the form of a redheaded African-American woman materialized within the castle walls, presumably from the starship. She looked on T’Eve, Star, and Marco with a welcoming smile. “Good seein’ you three again,” she said.

            “Likewise, Captain,” T’Eve greeted.

            “O.K., what is goin’ on?!” Venkman blurted. She might as well have spoken on behalf of all the confused individuals standing around the castle. “Now we got spaceships coming out of the sky?!”

            “You must be Dr. Natalie Venkman,” the Enterprise Captain deduced. “I’m Marie Jace, Captain of the USS Enterprise, and we’re here to bring you home…and to help you save it.”