Chapter Eighteen: Like A Hurricane

 

            The force by which Facilier was thrown was like being tackled by a 500lbs linebacker. His head smacked against one of the gravestones in the Old Burial Hill cemetery, knocking off his top hat and exposing his wild, unkempt hair. The attack literally came from nowhere. There was an entity from within the Gracie Manor that was keeping the voodoo witch doctor out.

            And Facilier knew exactly who the entity was, glaring at the mansion with furor.

            “Somethin’ wrong, Shadow Man?” He heard Oogie’s voice speaking from the heavens. Looking up, Facilier saw his silhouette cast upon the full moon that loomed over the town of Salem.

            “Naw, nothin’s wrong, Oogie,” Facilier gathered himself. “Just a spat between two old friends is all.”

            “Well, settle it!” Oogie barked. “The clock’s tickin’!”

            As his silhouette faded from the moon, Facilier spotted the Sanderson sisters descending towards the cemetery. Mary’s vacuum cleaner sputtered, dusting everything in its wake like crops. They hovered ten feet above the holy grounds, as Winifred informed Facilier, “There’s been a slight complication.”

            Facilier coughed out the bits of dust that made their way into his mouth. “Lemme guess – my Oogie Busters snapped out of it.” It was fairly obvious that was the case, as the Busters weren’t present with the sisters at that moment.

            Of course, Sarah and Mary were surprised by his intuitive guess.

            “How did he know?” Sarah asked.

            “He must have psychic powers,” Mary presumed.

            “Silence, you idiots!” Winifred shushed them before she returned to addressing Facilier. “It is clear these ‘Ghost Busters’ are worthier adversaries than we imagined – more so with that accursed Ash Williams on their side. So…we’ll need more effective means of vanquishing them.”

            On that, Winifred hovered closer to one specific grave in the cemetery. Upon the gravestone was the name “William Butcherson.”

            “Unfaithful lover, long since dead. Deep asleep in thy wormy bed. Wiggle thy toes, open thine eyes. Twist thy fingers towards the sky. Life is sleepy, not to shy, on thy feet so say ‘aye’.”

            Shortly after Winifred cast her spell on Butcherson’s grave, the ground around it began to move and then the zombified corpse of Billy Butcherson burst out. His mouth was stitched shut, preventing him from speaking a word. Upon his awakening, he turned and glanced at his gravestone. When he read the words “lost soul” from it, he grunted in annoyance.

            Facilier gazed on the zombie in amusement. “Reanimation, eh? Cute trick. Any relation to the walking dead here?”

            “He’s Winnie’s ex-boyfriend,” Sarah giddily informed. “He was caught fornicating with me, so Winnie poisoned him.”

            “None of that matters!” Winifred snapped. She scowled on Billy and ordered him, “Get out of that ditch, you maggot museum! There’s work to be done!”

---------------------------

            “I still can’t believe you’re the Thackery Binx,” Allison reflected.

            “Do you know many other Thackery Binxes that were transformed into a talking cat?” Binx mocked.

            “And you’re immortal, too!” Dani beamed. “I think I’m gonna keep you, Binx, and take good care of you. You’ll have milk and tuna fish every day, and you’ll only hunt mice for fun.”

            “Sounds like you’re gonna turn me into one of those fat, useless, contented house cats,” Binx groaned.

            “You betcha!” Dani told him. “I’ll take care of you…and my children will take care of you, too…and their children after that…and theirs’ after that. Forever and ever, and ever…”

            “You know, Dani…I would actually like that,” Binx conceded.

            Just as Dani and Binx cozied up in the black Ectomobile, they had arrived at their destination: the Town Hall of Salem. The Halloween party was in full swing with the entire place packed with adults dressed in various bizarre costumes, including a singer onstage dressed as a skeleton – complete with makeup, a top hat, and a coat covered in fake spiderwebs. “How’re we ever gonna find Mom and Dan in this place?” Max griped.

            “Didn’t they tell you who they were going as?” J.G. asked.

            Max shook his head. “We didn’t even bother to ask.”

            “Alright, well, let’s split up,” Patricia suggested. “Some of us will go with Dani, while the rest go with Max.”

            “C’mon, Binx,” Dani said, carrying him in her arms. “You’re coming with me.”

            While the other Busters, Captain Sutaka, Jack, and Sally went with Dani and Binx, the Ghostbusters remained with Max and Allison, along with Scrooge, his family, Ash, and the Shadowhunters.

            Suddenly, a hand grabbed Max from behind, startling him with a jump.

            Turning around, he and his group discovered it was a man dressed in a rather flimsy-looking Halloween costume that consisted of his pajamas, his bathrobe, and a cape that was one size too small.

            “Oh, Dad, it’s just you,” Max breathed in relief.

            “It’s not ‘Dad,’ it’s ‘Daduala’!” Mr. Dennison said, attempting a poor Bela Lugosi impersonation to sell his makeshift costume.

            Natalie could only shake her head in pity. “Dude, there’s two types of costumes: Last-Minute and Not-Giving-A-Crap. And I think you fall dead-center in the latter category.”

            Unamused by her critique, Mr. Dennison snapped back, “Well, we can’t all be space marauders like you guys.”

            Jacqueline and J.G. exchanged a baffled kind of glance. “Space Marauders?!”

            “Max, who are these people? Are they with you?” Mr. Dennison asked, indicating the Ghostbusters, Ash, and the Shadowhunters. “And where’s your sister? And…” His eyes then settled on Scrooge, taken aback. “Is that Scrooge McDuck? Or am I just looking at a very lifelike costume?”

            Scrooge shot him a stern look. “What do you think, lad?”

            Meanwhile, across the room, Dani continued searching for her mother with assistance from the other Busters, Captain Sutaka, Jack, and Sally. They approached a person dancing low in an alligator costume. “Mom?” Dani asked the alligator.

            The alligator shook its head to Dani before offering its hand to Wilson for a dance. Wilson only responded by asking, “Are you a lady gator?” Again, the alligator shook its head, which led Wilson to calmly demand, “Then get away from me before I turn you into my new suitcase.” The alligator cowered away immediately.

            It wasn’t until then that Dani finally spotted a woman dressed like Madonna and ascertained her identity: “Mom?”

            Mrs. Dennison looked her way, smiling while also “voguing.”

            “Who are you supposed to be?” Dani asked her.

            “She’s Madonna, sweetheart,” Patricia told her. “And it’s unfortunate that I’m old enough to know that.”

            “Who are your friends, honey?” Mrs. Dennison asked of the other Busters, Captain Sutaka, Jack, and Sally. “Your costumes are amazing – especially you, dear.” She leaned in close to Sutaka, examining her pointed ears. “Are you, uh, some sort of space elf?”

            Sutaka groaned and muttered, “I finally understand your pain, T’Eve.”

            “Mom, you have to listen carefully,” Dani instructed. “This cat here – Binx – right? He can talk. The witches are back from the dead and they’re after us. We need help.”

            “How much candy have you had, honey?” Mrs. Dennison inquired in concern.

            “She’s telling you the truth, ma’am,” Yvonne verified. “And it only gets much worse than that, unless we warn everyone here about the danger that awaits the entire town of Salem.”

            Mrs. Dennison haphazardly nodded to Yvonne’s warning. “Right. Sure. Um, Dani…let’s just find your father.” She took her daughter by the hand, leading her away from the Busters, Sutaka, Jack, and Sally. But they just followed along to where they were reunited with the rest of their group, as they were having just as much trouble convincing Mr. Dennison.

            That was until Dani spotted the Sanderson sisters among the crowd.

            “They’re here! They’re here!” she alerted.

            They followed her gaze and noticed the sisters searching for them (or, at least, Winifred was – Mary and Sarah were too distracted by the party).

            “Let’s just take them out right here and now,” Ash declared, pulling her shotgun out from the holster strapped to her back.

            Seeing the shotgun, Mr. Dennison gasped. “Whoa! That’s not real, is it?”

            J.G. forced Ash to lower the gun. “It’s too crowded in here to go guns blazing.”

            “Then what do you suggest we do?” an impatient Alec asked. “Either way, all these mundanes’ lives are in danger.”

            Without warning, Max disengaged from the group and headed onstage. “Hey, man, cut the music. Cut the music!” he motioned to the band.

            “Hey, man,” the skeleton singer griped. “I’m in the middle of a song.”

            “It’s an emergency, only for a minute,” Max beseeched. As soon as the music stopped, he addressed the crowd, “Will everybody listen up please?”

            All eyes were on Max that very second, including the timorous Sandersons.

            “Oh, no,” Natalie uttered. “I know where this is goin’.”

            “He’s just going to get everybody worked up,” Mr. Dennison muttered.

            “Listen to him!” Dani pleaded. “He’s fine!”

            Onstage, Max warned the adults, “Your kids are in danger! 300 years ago, the Sanderson sisters bewitched people, and now they’ve returned from their grave.” His warnings only drew laughter from the crowd. “Hey, man, I’m serious! It’s not a joke!”

            Yvonne shook her head over the non-believers. “Typical response.”

            “Even the black folks are laughin’,” Raimundo criticized. “You’d think they’d be the ones to take this seriously.”

            “I know this sounds dumb. But they’re here tonight. They’re right over there!”

            Max pointed to the one section of the crowd where the Sandersons were and a spotlight hit right on them. The crowd drew back a bit in shock. For a moment, Max’s effort of warning was successful, until Winifred lightheartedly (albeit mockingly) said, “Thank you, Max, for that marvelous introduction.” She managed to have the crowd believing it was all a show and even followed it with a song:

Winifred:
I put a spell on you, and now your mine.
You can’t stop the things I do
I ain’t lyin’
It's been three hundred years
Right down to the day
Now the witch is back
And there's hell to pay
I put a spell on you
And now you're mine!

            On Winifred’s high note, the band started playing again. The skeleton singer, impressed by the show, began pressing Max off the stage. “Good joke. Happy Halloween.”

            “No, man, I’m serious!” Max implored, but the singer wasn’t buying it.

            “Yeah right,” he said, finally shoving Max off. He then turned to his band and yelled, “All right. Let’s go, guys!”

            The Sanderson sisters hopped up onstage with Winifred taking lead while Mary and Sarah were her backup singers. “Hello Salem! My name’s Winifred, what’s yours?”

Winifred:
I put a spell on you
And now you're gone

Mary and Sarah:
Gone, gone, gone, so long!

Winifred:
My whammy fell on you
And it was strong

Mary and Sarah:
So strong, so strong, so strong!

Winifred:
Your wretched little lives
Have all been cursed
'Cause of all the witches working
I'm the worst
I put a spell on you
And now you're mine

Mary and Sarah:
Watch out! Watch out!
Watch out! Watch out!
(She ain’t lyin’)

Winifred:
If you don't believe
You better get superstitious
Ask my sisters

Mary and Sarah:
Ooh, she's vicious!

            As the sisters sang onstage, every adult in the crowd joined along in the entertainment – and those who accompanied Max, Dani, Allison, Webby, and even Scrooge’s nephews were no exception. Both Ghostbuster teams, the Shadowhunters, Jack, Sally, Sutaka, and even Scrooge McDuck himself were grooving along to the Sanderson sisters’ song.

            “What’re you guys doing?!” Louie cried.

            “It’s the song!” Webby informed. “It’s a spell that only influences the adults in this room that hear it!”

            “Seems like the only logical explanation,” Huey acknowledged. “Uncle Scrooge never shows off dance steps that appalling!”

            “Uh, guys?” Dewey notified. “We have another problem.”

            The other kids saw him pointing towards the exit where a zombie emerged and threateningly stomped towards them.

            “Oh, c’mon, man!” Max yelped. “Now we got zombies?!”

            “That’s not just any zombie,” Binx said. “That’s Billy Butcherson – Winifred’s former lover! She must’ve brought him back from the dead, just to come after us!”

            “What do we do?” Allison asked.

            “Hey, has anybody seen Ash?” Webby queried, bringing the notable absence of the Chainsaw Warrior to the attention of her friends.

            Butcherson was just about to pounce on the kids when suddenly…

            BOOM!

            The blast of a shotgun accompanied the explosion of Butcherson’s own head, as it disintegrated to dust right before the eyes Max, Dani, Allison, Webby, and the nephews. It was left wandering aimlessly around the room. The blast also brought silence over the party once again, as the adults snapped out of the Sanderson sisters’ spell.

            “What just happen?” Jaqueline dumbfoundedly asked. “I just started shakin’ my booty for no reason.”

            Even the Sandersons were baffled as they stood onstage.

            “Who dares interrupt our sho—OH!”

            Winifred’s ranting was interrupted once she was literally kicked off the stage by Ash, who held her shotgun up high, fresh smoke seeping out from the barrels. She took aim for Mary and Sarah, who immediately fled from the stage in fear, checking on Winifred, who had landed face-first onto the dance floor.

            “You screwheads want a performance?” Ash addressed the crowd. “I’ll give ya a real performance.” She then aimed her shotgun to the skeleton singer and his band and requested, “Play me some Scorpions.”

            “Y-Yes, ma’am,” the skeleton singer fearfully obliged, motioning for his lead guitarist to play Ash into her performance:

It's early morning, the sun comes out
Last night was shaking and pretty loud
My cat is purring, it scratches my skin
So what is wrong with another sin?

The witch is hungry, she needs to tell
So give her inches and feed her well
More days to come, new places to go
I've got to leave, it's time for a show

Here I am
Rock you like a hurricane
Here I am
Rock you like a hurricane

            Ash’s performance reinvigorated the partygoers, who were now dancing, cheering, and singing along to her tune. Mr. and Mrs. Dennison weren’t sure what to make of the whole show, but they were nonetheless amused.

            “Crazy friends you kids made tonight,” Mr. Dennison told Max and Dani. “First, I was worried, then I was excited, only to be worried again, but now I’m having fun!”

            “We definitely should invite these guys next Halloween!” Mrs. Dennison insisted.

            Max and Dani were relieved their parents were oblivious to the peril that nearly befell them, had it not been for the intervention of Ash Williams. Unfortunately, there was still the matter of the Sandersons, who were slipping away from the crowd, undetected by everyone except for Max, Dani, Allison, and Binx.

            “They’re getting away!” Dani cried.

            Or so that’s what they thought before they noticed the sisters were standing right over a wired mechanical box. Winifred, Mary, and Sarah noticed it themselves, stopping the witches in their tracks out of sheer curiosity. They followed the wire to see where it led and found that it was connected to a hydraulic foot pedal…with the boot of Patricia Venkman hovering over it.

            Waving to the sisters, she smiled and said, “Bye-bye.”

            Patricia slammed her foot down on the pedal and the box beneath the Sandersons opened, emitting a bright light. The sisters howled as they were sucked right into the box before it closed, trapping them inside.

            Yvonne went to retrieve the trap afterwards, lifting it triumphantly.

            “They did it!” Dani cheered. “We won!”

            Her brother, Allison, and Binx shared in her celebration, which they intermixed with the rave stimulated from Ash’s performance.

Here I am
Rock you like a hurricane (are you ready, baby?)
Here I am
Rock you like a hurricane
Here I am
Rock you like a hurricane (come on, come on, come on, come on)
Here I am
Rock you like a hurricane
Here I am